Wednesday, June 30, 2010

100 Dirty Pick Up Lines

  1. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
  2. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
  3. I'm easy. Are you?
  4. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
  5. Nice shoes. Wanna screw?
  6. You wanna play circus? You roar and I'll throw ya the meat!
  7. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  8. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
  9. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
  10. I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.


  11. Wanna play TV? I'll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise.
  12. Hey do you wanna sit on my lap and see what pops up!
  13. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and screw ya!
  14. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  15. Wanna play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW.
  16. You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong.
  17. I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
  18. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
  19. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
  20. My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick?
  21. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
  22. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
  23. Hump is the subject today, would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me?
  24. Let's play lion and lion tamer. Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat.
  25. Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try?
  26. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
  27. Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood!
  28. Wow! Are those real?
  29. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK
  30. Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now is U!
  31. Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between!
  32. A tall man to a short woman: "You're the perfect height for what I want."
  33. Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
  34. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
  35. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
  36. Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.
  37. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
  38. The word of the day is legs; why don't you come to my house and spread the word.
  39. If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?
  40. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
  41. F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynecologist??
  42. Nice legs...what time do they open?
  43. Are you a farmer? No, 'cuz you sure know how to raise a c*ck.
  44. Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?
  45. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
  46. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
  47. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  48. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
  49. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute
  50. Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?
  51. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
  52. I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it?
  53. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  54. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)
  55. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
  56. Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
  57. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
  58. There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.
  59. Let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
  60. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
  61. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
  62. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
  63. Lets play titanic you'll be the ocean and ill go down on you
  64. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
  65. Can you lick your nipples?[No] Can I? [Yes] Can you show me?
  66. Hi. Are you cute?
  67. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  68. (after sex) Damn girl, you're like those Indy cars... You can burn 4 rubbers at once!
  69. What winks and f***s like a tiger? (Wink)
  70. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
  71. (Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
  72. I'm having a party at your ankles... should I invite your pants down?
  73. Guess what?! I've got an 8" tongue and I can breath out of my ears!
  74. I hope you're not a vegetarian... cuz I want to feed you some meat!
  75. Who's your friend?
  76. I wish I were Winnie the Pooh so I could stick my nose in your honey jar.
  77. I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.
  78. True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
  79. Can we play baseball? You have a nice bat but instead of a ball- lets use my hole!
  80. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  81. Hey...did I mention I go down like a ship?
  82. Wanna play 68? You do me and I owe you one!
  83. Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a taste?
  84. F*** me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me...
  85. I could hear your c*ck talking and it just told me to blow you.... a kiss!
  86. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
  87. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
  88. Hi, do you believe in one night stands?
  89. Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.
  90. Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
  91. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
  92. Do you live on a Chicken farm? Cuz you sure know how to raise c*ck!!
  93. (When someone clears their throat) Do you have a frog in your throat? Want me instead?
  94. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
  95. Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!
  96. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
  97. (Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
  98. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f***.
  99. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

16 comments:

nesta said...

100 dirty pick up lines for your 100th post. Nice!

Nix Ricafort said...

Really dirty!!! LOL! Nice one! I'ma share it on Facebook. :-)

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