Friday, August 13, 2010

Blind Dates - Fear of the Unknown

Blind Dates - Fear of the Unknown

Blind dates are always something anyone dreads and oftentimes, do not do. Going on normal dates is nerve-wracking enough but imagine going out with someone you don't know from Eve (or Adam, as the case may be). Does she wear skirts or or is she casually-clad in jeans? A beer drinker or a wine connoisseur? Smokes or not? And most importantly, does she even look good?

When you ask someone for a date, these questions are almost always answered, hence the attraction. You actually want to know more. But what if you finally agreed to Tito Boy's insistence that you date the daughter of his best friend's sister? Fear is not an option.

Remember what Neil Gaiman made Sandman say, "It is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt."

Also keep in mind that she is also in the dark about you. To make sure to have a good - or at least tolerable - time, here are tips we got from Men's Health magazine (as advised by Gabe Fischbarg, author of The Guide to Picking Up Girls, and Roger Lodge, host of the syndicated show Blind Date) which which surely help you in your cause.

You're no saint; you want to know what she looks like. Ask your matchmaker specific questions. "Women are never accurate when describing their friends -- they always think a girl is prettier than she is," Fischbarg says. " 'Nice' might mean unattractive, and 'curvy' might mean full-figured." Best bet: Ask a guy friend to set you up.

"You can e-mail back and forth, but at some point, you need to call her," says Fischbarg. It's more personal, and the date will go more smoothly if you've gotten the boring what-do-you-do stuff out of the way.

"The key to any blind date is that you want to do it during the day," says Lodge. You can bail without looking like a jerk: You have a meeting to get to. After-work drinks are the next-best option, says Fischbarg. At the beginning of the date, tell her you have somewhere else to be later in the evening.

If you have less chemistry than Jacko and Lisa Marie, take a trip to the bathroom and covertly ask for the check to be brought to the table promptly. "You can eat or drink at a normal pace, but you've cut out 15 minutes," Fischbarg says. The prearranged call from your buddy is too obvious.

Lodge sees lots of men bomb on Blind Date. "I cannot emphasize this enough: Never, ever be the first one to bring up sex. If she wants to go there, let her bring it up. And even if the date is going really well, don't get physical. Walk her to her car or door and give her a hug. You'll leave some mystery."

The Other Kind of Blind Date . . .
In a trusting relationship, a blindfold in bed can kink-start a stalled sex life. "It may enhance a person's feelings of vulnerability and surrender, which may be arousing," says Katherine Rachlin, Ph.D., a sex therapist and psychologist. Clinical sexologist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., calls it an "incredibly sensual" sexual exercise for men and women. "It forces you to focus on your body's pleasure because you're not being distracted by visual stimuli."

Get blindfolds here

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