Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How to... Settle An Argument With Your Girlfriend

Resolving conflight is an essential skill for anyone, and being good at this with your life partner or potential life partner is particularly important.

1. Wait for the emotions from the heat of the moment to dissipate. Neither of you will think or speak rationally when you're all caught up in the moment. Take some time to collect yourself and calm down before talking about the disagreement.

2. Say you're sorry. Even if you don't really believe it's your fault - it probably was a least partially your fault, or at least something you could have made better. And don't immediately follow "I'm sorry" with an excuse or an accusation.

3. Try to see the situation from the other person's perspective. Be understanding of the difficulties she faced and accepting of her behaviors.

4. Listen to what she has to say and accept her apologies, but stick to one thing at a time. If she's apologizing about A, don't ask her about B or C. If you're apologizing for B, don't ask her what she was thinking when she did A. It can ruin a good discussion and confuse your partner, and this is a time when you both need to be very clear and direct.

5. Once you've both accepted that you both are sorry, said what you did wrong, and are on good terms, you can ask "What can I do to avoid this situation in the future?" Now is the time you can be more critical of the other person. This is a learning process, not intended to berate the other person, but to learn how to better communicate with each other. Hopefully, next time a similar situation comes up, you will both handle it better and be able to help the other one out.

SOURCE: eHow.com

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