Friday, July 23, 2010

How to... Cockblock

Proper timing is crucial to executing a successful pickup: If you jump in too quickly, you’ll come across as desperate and needy; hang back and dillydally around, and another guy will walk over and start his game.

When another guy comes in and crowds your play, you’ll likely become frustrated and irritated. Have no fear though, there is a last-ditch effort you can employ if you really don't want to give up and find another target: You can become the cockblocker.

Cockblocking another guy during his pickup is unpleasant, but it is something that must be done from time to time. Regardless of the reason, there are elements of the “guy code” that have to followed, even in this nefarious business. Just keep the following things in mind: Don't do this to a friend (as if you'd even consider it), don't badmouth your rival when he's not around (that's something chicks do), and don't moan about it if someone pulls some of these tricks on you.

Before we get started on cockblocking, remember that the goal here is the pickup, not the competition. Pay attention to your female target with some flirting and conversation as you politely, without being a jerk, give your adversary the cockblock. He'll know what you're trying to pull -- let him hang himself as he tries to retaliate due to his jealousy and paranoia. Those points now out of the way, here are five great ways to cockblock your competition.

Admit it
They say fortune favors the bold, so if you’re accused of cockblocking, straight up admit to it and make light of the situation. Try to keep it light and nonconfrontational. The best way to blow it with the girl is to walk up and insult the guy, plus you’ll likely find trouble in the parking lot afterwards. If you can temper the cockblock situation with humor, do so. Buy a round of drinks: a Cosmo for her and a glass of milk for him. Or, as juvenile as it seems, make a bar bet (one you know you'll win) and the victor gets to stay with the girl.

This is a high-risk strategy that pays well if you’re successful. You will either fail or succeed very quickly. If the girl doesn't tell you to beat it, a victorious outcome is probably on deck.

Send in a wingman
The direct cockblock approach might not suit everyone. Using a wingman to distract the rival might be an easier and more subtle method for the faint of heart. Entering the battlefield with a wingman effectively eliminates the other guy from the equation and leaves you free to engage your target.

During the cockblock, a good wingman should be able to keep 100% of the guy’s attention. This is because your brother in arms knows that he doesn't need to impress the girl, and the rival won't want to cause a scene and ruin his chances with the girl. At the very least, talk of sports, cars, work or other women will draw him away from the girl and into a genuine conversation. A best-case scenario will see your rival being taken off for a game of pool, which will hopefully uncover some unattractive personality traits, such as an aggressive competitive streak.

You’ll have to repay the cockblock favor to your wingman, but if he is worth his cred, he’ll likely find a date for himself and his new ”buddy.”

Send in a wingwoman
In these times of equality, take advantage of the wingwoman. With a hot female friend who is willing to step up as your cockblocker, the following methods can be most devastating to your rival’s efforts.

Using your wingwoman as a honeypot may be morally dubious, but it is certainly effective. Few men can resist an obvious come-on by an attractive women. A simple tap on the shoulder, a smile and an inquiry about being bought a drink will at least create enough of a distraction for you to step in and make contact. The fact that he was distracted should be enough to put off your target. If he does rejoin the pickup, the perceived back-up score with your wingwoman may cause him to drop out of the competition more quickly.

If you have a hard time convincing your wingwoman to parade around in front of a stranger, there's still room to maneuver. Disguised as a fake ex, your wingwoman can head over and slap your rival, leaving an unsettling impression with your target. The fake-ex play is made more effective when coupled with a shake of the head and a herpes comment. A less dramatic approach is for your wingwoman to have a ”friendly chat,” in which she reveals true or false details about your rival, with your target in the bathroom.

Coordinate a “flashmobbing”
A persistent rival could dodge the diversions of the best wingman and ignore the seductions of a wingwoman. He'll find it more difficult, however, to avoid a whole group. Gather all your friends, giving them instructions to concentrate on the guy, and descend upon your target and rival.

Once you establish conversation with the object of your desire, more people can pour into the gap between you and your rival. Using tactics such as conversation, challenges to games and rounds of shots, your friends should be able to force your enemy into a separate group, where he’ll sit and watch you succeed.

The key is to whisk her away as soon as the gap has been created. Invite her to a quieter, more secluded section of the bar that is far away from his sphere of influence. Once you’ve given the signal that you’re in, your friends can get back to enjoying their night -- especially with the drinks that you now owe them.

Let him talk about himself
If nothing shifts the guy, let him talk himself out of a successful pickup. Bring the conversation round to him and ask him plenty of questions (don't forget to keep the girl involved though). Let him undermine himself with his own responses. For example, make a comment about his Rolex and once he starts to brag endlessly about it, he will come across as a flashy ass.

Watch your target's responses to his talk. Steer your rival’s conversation toward the things that she isn't responding to and lightly mock him. Again, don't turn it into a pissing match between the two of you.

Also, use her responses to tailor your approach according to her tastes. When he leaves the table to get more drinks, steer the conversation toward something that she wants to talk about. Keep it one-to-one and use body language to exclude him when he returns.

There are many ways to achieve a successful cockblock. It can be as simple as walking up to a girl, ignoring the guy and asking her name or as complex as motivating half the bar to distract your rival.

In most circumstances, the need to cockblock can be completely avoided if you are decisive and act quickly. The sooner you make your approach after the initial eye-contact and smile, the better off you’ll be. Don't rush over like a schoolboy, but once you've finished your drink head to the bar and pay her a visit on the way. And if another guy suddenly straddles your side, keep an eye out for what you've just learned.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...